Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
two words...techno handjob
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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