at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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