i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
