I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
