are you still at the devil's house?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
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So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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