4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
