hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
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