her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
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I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
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Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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