her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize