it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
