why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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