How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
