Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
