in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
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I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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