i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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