she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
the liver wants what the liver wants
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
