it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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