Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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