Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
