Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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