WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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