Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
