Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize