you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We left an ass print on the piano.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
