How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
