it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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