tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
