she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
