I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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