don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
