I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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