he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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