Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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