Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm sobbing to NWA
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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