She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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