Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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