haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
