Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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