How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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