Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
