we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
