playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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