can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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