guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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