dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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