Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
