Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
