i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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