But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
