Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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