How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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