Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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