why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
