Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
