We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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