after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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