How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
