Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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