Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
