I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
