is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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