Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my sisters under your porch take her home
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
