I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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