I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
