I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
