after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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