She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
